While it might seem like sound medical advice to bury our heads, stay locked up and forget about dating, time is marching on with the pandemic showing no signs of going away. A ‘wait until this is over’ approach may have a greater impact on our physical and mental wellbeing, especially loneliness due to Covid, than we might imagine. We need social interaction, meaningful social interaction.
Mass online dating apps are showing their true colours - superficial time-intensive play-it-by-the-numbers cattle market algorithms which chip away at your self-esteem and make you feel even lonelier, whether you like it or not.
This unprecedented time is seeing a return to more old fashioned values, to romance rather than flings, to depth over superficiality, to thinking rather than swiping. The pandemic has given us is time to reflect.
So, what can you do to date safely and successfully during a worldwide pandemic?
Before your first date...
If you can’t find that special someone then it may well be because you have overlooked something, either in yourself or in the person you want to be with, or both. It’s like knowing what you want in a house then changing your mind when you see something different. The best thing to do is use experts with experience to help. Delve into the details and let an expert experienced matchmaker handpick all your dates for you. Have your potential partner selected based on qualities that really matter. Doing this will facilitate your connection with another human on a deeper, more meaningful level. Have a real think about your criteria: ‘Must be very wealthy ’‘Must look like a movie star’ ‘Must be thin’ ‘Must like base-jumping in snorkels’…. have you really thought, do you really know, what is important to you? For instance, are you ruling out dates on appearance when you say you want someone kind with a fun personality?
During your first virtual date..
Be careful what you have in the background. Be punctual. Do whatever is necessary to be relaxed. Don’t talk about yourself too much. Ask questions. If it’s Zoom, don’t run out of juice after 40 minutes! If you both like books, what type of books and why? Notice whether both of you maintain a conversation without distractions like alcohol, background music, preparing a meal, or doing a workout? Don’t hang up if you hear something you disagree with, your date might be nervous or simply said it wrong.
When all of the first date nerves are out of the way and the two of you are still interested, envisage this like going back to the days of love letters (instead of an email/text where if you ask two questions only one is addressed) which really said what people felt. By no means a bad thing.
Keep in touch with your matchmaker. You might be surprised how much they can help.
For your first physical meeting…
Agree a safe meeting place where social distancing rules can be maintained - a walk in the park beats an inside dinner, check that you are both symptom free, discuss face coverings, transportation. Most prospective partners worth their salt will appreciate the care and increase your chances of ‘going into a bubble’ together.
After your meeting…
You’ve done the groundwork. Even if it doesn’t work first time, you’ve initiated a new approach with depth and thought and attention and care. Just keep communicating, pandemic or not.
If you're looking for guidance, a helping hand and someone to help you engage with potential partners again, talk to us to arrange an informal and confidential initial consultation with one of our discrete matchmakers.