Second Time Around Soulmates: Elite Dating After Divorce Or Loss

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For most of us, divorce, separation or bereavement from a partner or spouse are among the hardest things we’ll ever go through. Anything like this can obviously be a very emotionally draining experience. So it’s entirely understandable that you may be feeling nervous at the very thought of reentering the realm of dating.

Here are some things you can do which should make you feel more confident and positive about the idea of meeting someone new:

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• Let the past go

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This is doesn’t mean forgetting what has happened, or trying to wipe the past from your mind. Instead, accept it as something which has happened and focus on the present and what happens now. Part of this involves not punishing yourself for anything which went wrong in the previous relationship. Sometimes, blaming yourself can be a less-than-healthy way of hanging on to a past relationship and not letting it go or accepting that it’s over.

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• Being sure you’re ready

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Of course, you need time to mourn the previous relationship, whether you’re actually grieving for someone or not. So give yourself enough time to do this, reassess your life and be sure that meeting a new partner is really what you want to do.

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• Forgive your ex

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This may not sound on the face of it like an easy step to take, especially if your feelings are still quite raw. But it’s an important stage when it comes to feeling ready to meet someone new and move on. Genuinely forgiving your ex (and it’s entirely normal to feel angry at someone if they’ve died, by the way), is an important way of releasing the pain you’ve been feeling. And you certainly don’t want to carry it into the next relationship or potential marriage.

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• Stay confident

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We know that this isn’t always an easy one. And it may sound a cliché, but remember that just because a relationship has ended, that’s not an indication at all that future ones will fail. And if you’ve been brave enough to leave an unhappy partnership behind, give yourself credit for having been brave enough to do that, and rebuild your life as you wish to live it. Remember there’s absolutely no reason why you can’t keep your head held high.

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But if you need to give yourself space to focus on family, friends, work or hobbies for a while before you get back into the dating fray, then take that time to rebuild your self-esteem. Don’t rush into anything just to fill a void. Take things at the pace which feels most comfortable for you, while remaining open to new experiences.

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• Think about what you want

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Use the aftermath of a past relationship to reflect on patterns with your previous partners. Think about what worked and what did not, and identify what you need and want from a future partner or spouse very clearly.

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• It’s OK to be fussy!

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You certainly don’t have to settle for the first person who comes along. You’re allowed to be discerning and selective, so prioritise shared values and compatibility. When you do go on a date, allow time to forge connection and trust with the person, certainly before you introduce them to anyone else close to you. Be honest about your past experiences and what you expect for the future when you talk to someone new, and communicate clearly what you’re looking for and what you absolutely do not want.

Second time around with an elite dating service

Finding the right partner can take time and effort. Have trust in the process, and that you will meet the right person when the time is right for you.

But, especially if you have been out of the dating sphere for a while, the modern apps and websites can seem bewildering, shallow and, ultimately, deeply unsatisfying. There can be contacts or dates which go nowhere, and it can be hard to find genuine compatibility this way.

If you’re looking for a partner from a particular sphere, it’s definitely worth considering a specialist matchmaking service. Unlike the apps, these services adopt a personalised, confidential and effective approach to identifying a potential partner with whom you’re truly compatible.

Berkeley International is an elite global matchmaking agency which understands the specific needs of high-calibre professionals. So we’re sensitive to the requirements of those with demanding careers, or who want to meet high fliers, and those who may be dating again after the end of a long-term relationship.

You’ll receive a high level of personal attention as we arrange exclusive introductions, handpicked every time – we don’t just throw people together using algorithms. Plus we take confidentiality and discretion incredibly seriously.

It works like this. After you’ve got in touch, we’ll get you to meet one of our discreet matchmakers for a chat about what you need, and to be sure you’re in the right place to start dating again. Equally, we’ll follow up any introductions and dates to see how you got on.

What’s more, we offer country-specific, European and global memberships, so let us recommend a plan that’s tailor-made to suit you, with fees charged accordingly.

So if you feel you’re getting back your dating confidence and are ready to get back out there, we’re here to help. Give us a call today and let’s take it from there.

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