Got a sneaky dose of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) this summer? It’s too hot too work, resorts and hotels are full even though they’re charging iniquitous summer rates, travelling is a nightmare, and you’re single at home thinking you're in the best place. This may be true, but the fact is that people are still getting out there with a vengeance after 2 years of being locked up with time to reflect that loneliness is no fun so many of them are out there looking for love.
So, is a summer fling worth it?
There’s fun to be had but casual encounters come with risks. A short no-strings-attached relationship which fizzles out when the weather turns cold lets you enjoy the excitement of dating without worrying about the emotional baggage. However, it doesn’t solve what we were all worrying about during COVID - the onset of loneliness.
Studies estimate that it takes 88 days for men and 134 days for women to fall head over heels. The sunny season lasts 90 days or thereabouts, therefore enough to form a deep connection but not to fall head over heels.
So, manage expectations. It’s much easier to meet someone in the summer. Even in a casual relationship, the emotional pressure is off, we are not looking for ’the one’ who fits with our values and beliefs about family, lifestyle, trust and communication, so life just got a whole lot easier. You can indulge your adventurous side, boost your sexual confidence, explore new things. It’s good for your health because the ‘feel good’ hormone oxytocin is released through physical contact.
The downside is you might not be their only fling and your memories may affect future relationships - when you build an intense relationship quickly your mind can trick you into thinking the chemistry was much more. You may not know what you’re getting into and you may be missing out on finding the ‘one’ via family and friends or otherwise.
On balance, and that’s the word relationships are all about, a summer fling might help you figure out what you actually want and, providing you manage expectations, consider the pros and cons, and don't forget time for your close friends (not least because they are best placed to give you an honest opinion!), there’s a lot of (post COVID) singles out there now looking for a serious relationship.