A Clean Slate for The Summer

Many of us have had trouble getting over an ex and it’s often difficult, or impossible, to move on successfully until the emotional ties are cut. You might try but, especially if ties and constant reminders remain such as children, property ownership, mutual friends, more often than not things don't work out with new partners.

To give yourself the best chance of successfully finding and staying with a new partner in a new relationship, you need to sever old ties as completely as possible and while we know the biggest healer is time, sometimes it helps to give ourselves a push.

• Cut off contact. No, you do not need to be friends.

• Let go of the fantasy. Don’t mourn the relationship you think you could have had.

• Make peace with the past. Forgiveness isn’t just about letting an ex off the hook, it’s about giving yourself emotional freedom.

• Know that it is OK to still love them. But know that love is not always enough to make a relationship work.

• Love yourself more. You can’t expect someone else to treat you better than you do yourself.

Things NOT to do include: get a rebound, stay in touch, rethink relationship decisions (memory lane is no place to be), and bad mouthing your ex with friends.

Instead, some positive practical steps you can take to help make that break up a clean one duly consigned to the annals of your past include: getting advice from a professional relationship coach - discuss what went wrong and what was right, get off social media for a while, avoid old stomping grounds, set out future goals, stop watching the clock (there’s no timeline for getting over someone), rally round your support team, give yourself your space and let go of the blame, stay busy and get healthy, and establish a new routine.

A clean break, however invested you were in the relationship, is almost always the way to go.