It’s important to maintain a healthy and positive attitude when dating and yet, it can be so easy to let this slip.  When we’ve been single for a long time or unsuccessfully searching for new love, we aren’t always as helpful to ourselves as we should be.  Sometimes this is down to how we behave, other times it’s because of the things we say.  If your love life isn’t going as planned, see if any of the below may be the cause.

Need

You don’t need to be in a relationship, you want to be in one. You don’t need him or her, you want them.  Whilst this may seem like a small slip of the tongue or overly pedantic, it’s actually vital you distinguish between your needs and your wants in life.   The only thing you truly need is to love yourself, to be happy in your own skin and to value your worth in a relationship.  Everything else must be secondary in order to remain healthy, otherwise it’s being built on hollow ground.

Type

Describing someone as not your type is a careless thing to do if you don’t know exactly what you mean and what is at stake. We go for types because it’s either what we’re used to, what we like or we think it’s what we need.  It is worth remembering however, that you have had multiple relationships with ‘your type’ before, and yet here you are, single again and looking for love.  Consider this; there might be something about your type which isn’t as important as other personality traits you may be looking for, long term.

Compromise

Compromise is probably not a word you were expecting to show up here, because compromise is good, right?  Well, yes and no.  All relationships require a certain amount of compromise, because there are two people involved who will invariably want and need different things at different times. If you find yourself continuously explaining your actions in a relationship by using this word, you need to sit down and reassess exactly how many compromises you’re making.

Right time

There is an obsession not just within relationships, but in life, with doing things at the right time.  Waiting for the right time for anything is an admirable thing to do and at best can show great patience.  At worst however, it can be a delaying tactic and mask deeper reasons as to why things aren’t happening sooner.  If you find yourself procrastinating in any part of your relationship, ask yourself exactly what ‘the right time’ means and what extra benefits it will give you.  Also ask yourself, what might life be like if you don’t put off your plans and just went for it now.  Would it still work out somehow?

With these tips fresh in mind let Berkeley International find you the ideal match, with offices all over the world we are able to find you love anywhere. call us on +44 (0) 207 665 6651 or fill in our secure enquiry form.

This article was guest written by Tori Ufondu, Mindset Breakthrough Coach

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