We meet a lot of people in this line of business, from the desperately seeking to the nonchalantly hoping. As many of you know, we don’t take on every applicant that walks through the door because a) that’s not what exclusivity is and b) all daters are not created equally. 

Understandably, the most important sign we’re looking for as matchmakers is that our members are ready to be in a relationship.  It’s imperative that they have the correct mindset – or are willing to take our advice – for love and all its delicious experiences to be had.  What this means is that no one’s time is wasted and our success rate stays consistently high.  If you’re wondering how we know if you’re ready for love or not, take a look below at some of the red flags.

You’re massively attached to your routine

It’s wonderful to lead a full and successful life, one which sees you comfortable and enjoying every aspect of your freedom, but if we don’t see any space for a partner then you may receive a raised eyebrow from us.  The fact is, and especially if you’ve been single for a long period of time, people can become extremely inflexible about what they’re prepared to give up, edit, or make way for, when it comes to love. 

It’s unfair to expect a new partner to slot perfectly into your routine without any consideration of what’s important to their needs.  For those of you who are truly unable to give any leeway but still desperately want a significant other in your world, we’ll only match you with a member who is fully informed and open to it.  A compartmentalised love life is not for everyone.

You take frequent dating breaks

We encourage dating siestas once in a while, when it’s honestly more beneficial for you to sit out a couple of dances and just reconnect with being a happy individual.  If however, after every date you feel the need to take a 3 month hiatus and are ‘sworn off women’ or ‘over men’, then it usually leads us to ask the question of whether you’re truly ready for love. 

In these scenarios, it may be there’s a little healing, or baggage ditching that has to come before any further dates.  It may be there has to be a recalibration of your relationship desires, the way you present yourself or, how you’re responding to the way others are presenting themselves to you.

Dating should not be a chore. It should also not be so exhausting that a convalescence period between each one is necessary.

You won’t pay for dating services
It may be unfortunate, it may not fit with your romantic envisioning of how life is supposed to be – but the fact is, in such a digital age, there may be occasions when you have to pay someone to help you date. 

We’ve said it time and time again, you pay for a personal trainer, a chef, a hairdresser, a coach – these are all people who are experienced and trained in helping you to achieve personal goals.  If you’re reluctant to pay membership to dating sites, matchmakers, or spend on a wardrobe that would help you to feel great and provide great rewards, then perhaps you’re not ready for the relationship you’re looking for. 

If you think you are ready, then choose wisely, invest well and focus on the value, not the cost.

You have fixed ideas
Fixed ideas can, on occasion, be very subtle code for “I’m never going to meet anyone worth changing my mind for” or, “I’m really scared to be truly open”.  If you find your list of must-haves becoming extensive, or leaving little room for a genuine multi-faceted human being, then you may want to check-in with your overall goals in love. 

For example, how crucial is a man’s love of Film Noir to being with you, raising a family with you and supporting you through the good and the bad?  How absolutely imperative is a woman’s income to being a loyal, faithful partner to you? 

Knowing what you want is an absolute prerequisite when it comes to dating but you have to know when the balance has tipped over into unhealthy levels.  You have to know whether you’re motivated by the positive experiences you’d like to have, or the negative ones you’re trying to avoid.

You purposely go for the wrong type

Let’s start with an example, “I just can’t resist the bad boys” or, how about “I just love women who are a little crazy.”  These sound like quirky preferences, ones that make you out to be a little adventurous, a little bit daring – but our advice, as harsh as it may be, is to grow up. 

Yes, you may be attracted to this type, but does it correlate with the future you want for yourself?  Loving bad boys and then being upset because you’re treated badly and none of your goals are aligned, is not smart.  What’s smart is dating people with goals that are the same or similar, but who also share your love of occasionally being reckless or adventurous.  Any good matchmaker is not interested in helping you to perpetuate a vicious circle.

If you think you’re ready for love, you’re raring to go and excited about the prospects, give us a call.