Sorry, but you’re not ready for love

We meet a lot of people in this line of business, from the desperately seeking to the nonchalantly hoping. As many of you know, we don't take on every applicant that walks through the door because a) that’s not what exclusivity is and b) all daters are not created equally.

Understandably, the most important sign we’re looking for as matchmakers is that our members are ready to be in a relationship. It’s imperative that they have the correct mindset - or are willing to take our advice - for love and all its delicious experiences to be had. What this means is that no one's time is wasted and our success rate stays consistently high. If you're wondering how we know if you’re ready for love or not, take a look below at some of the red flags.



You’remassively attached to your routine

It’s wonderful to lead a full and successful life, one whichsees you comfortable and enjoying every aspect of your freedom, but if we don'tsee any space for a partner then you may receive a raised eyebrow fromus.  The fact is, and especially if you've been single for a long periodof time, people can become extremely inflexible about what they're prepared togive up, edit, or make way for, when it comes to love. 

It's unfair to expect a new partner to slot perfectly into your routine without any consideration of what's important to their needs. For those of you who are truly unable to give any leeway but still desperately want a significant other in your world, we'll only match you with a member who is fully informed and open to it. A compartmentalised love life is not for everyone.



You take frequentdating breaks

We encourage dating siestas once in a while, when it's honestly more beneficial for you to sit out a couple of dances and just reconnect with being a happy individual. If however, after every date you feel the need to take a 3 month hiatus and are 'sworn off women' or 'over men', then it usually leads us to ask the question of whether you're truly ready for love.

In these scenarios, it may be there’s a little healing, orbaggage ditching that has to come before any further dates.  It may bethere has to be a recalibration of your relationship desires, the way youpresent yourself or, how you’re responding to the way others are presentingthemselves to you.

Dating should not be a chore. It should also not be so exhausting that a convalescence period between each one is necessary.



You won’t pay for datingservices


It may be unfortunate, it may not fit with your romantic envisioning of howlife is supposed to be - but the fact is, in such a digital age, there may beoccasions when you have to pay someone to help you date.

We've said it time and time again, you pay for a personaltrainer, a chef, a hairdresser, a coach - these are all people who areexperienced and trained in helping you to achieve personal goals.  Ifyou're reluctant to pay membership to dating sites, matchmakers, or spend on a wardrobethat would help you to feel great and provide great rewards, then perhapsyou’re not ready for the relationship you're looking for. 

If you think you are ready, then choose wisely, invest well and focus on the value, not the cost.



You have fixed ideas


Fixed ideas can, on occasion, be very subtle code for “I'm never going to meetanyone worth changing my mind for” or, “I'm really scared to be truly open”.If you find your list of must-haves becomingextensive, or leaving little room for a genuine multi-faceted human being, thenyou may want to check-in with your overall goals in love.

For example, how crucial is a man's love of Film Noir to beingwith you, raising a family with you and supporting you through the good and thebad?  How absolutely imperative is a woman's income to being a loyal,faithful partner to you? 

Knowing what you want is an absolute prerequisite when it comes to dating but you have to know when the balance has tipped over into unhealthy levels. You have to know whether you're motivated by the positive experiences you'd like to have, or the negative ones you're trying to avoid.



You purposely go forthe wrong type

Let's start with an example, "I just can't resist the badboys" or, how about "I just love women who are a littlecrazy."  These sound like quirky preferences, ones that make you outto be a little adventurous, a littlebit daring - but our advice, as harshas it may be, is to grow up. 

Yes, you may be attracted to this type, but does it correlatewith the future you want for yourself?  Loving bad boys and then beingupset because you're treated badly and none of your goals are aligned, is notsmart.  What's smart is dating people with goals that are the same orsimilar, but who also share your love of occasionally being reckless oradventurous.  Any good matchmaker is not interested in helping you toperpetuate a vicious circle.

If you think you’re ready for love, you’re raring to go and excited about the prospects, give us a call.