We’re in an age where many of the long established rules and expectations of gender and dating are either disappearing or evolving to fit a new generation. Women need not wait to be asked out by the man they find attractive and men are getting used to the idea of female independence and relationship equality. With all this in mind, there are still some ladies out there who appreciate the moves of an old school gent, a man who has somehow managed to maintain the etiquette and manners of former generations. Ask yourself, are you already doing any of the below?
It can be a car door, a restaurant door or even a fridge door – it really doesn’t matter. Opening a door for us is probably the one thing that is still expected, even by modern standards. Yes, it’s an oldie but it’s also a goodie and if you don’t do it there’s an immediate red flag that is raised to us. Women are obviously more than able to open doors themselves, so this gesture has zero to do with capability and everything to do with good breeding. Never feel embarrassed or nervous to take control here, it’s simply about being kind and it actually isn’t confined to dating or gender. How many times have you let another man walk through a door or enter a lift before you? Women do it for each other all the time as well, it’s a courtesy worth showing.
Only sit once she’s seated
This is a move that has died out significantly and the men who still do it are a rare species. When at a restaurant or even a special dinner at home, it’s the height of chivalry to only take your seat once your female companions have taken theirs. What it says is this, ‘I’ll get comfortable when I know you are’. Even if it goes unnoticed the first few times, she will eventually pick up on it. Not every woman will value this gesture, but it certainly won’t be harmful to your relationship. Women want to feel special and this signals that you’re concerned with more than just yourself.
Ask what she wants to eat and then order for her
Again, this is about you being attentive and putting her first, even when you don’t have to or it would be just as easy not to. With the speed and intensity in which life moves these days, making the small things count can really impact the thoughts and beliefs someone else holds about you. The days of actually deciding what your lady friend is going to eat may be over – unless she wants to be surprised which isn’t entirely unknown – but this is a nice compromise and a great way to demonstrate your listening skills.
Ask if she wants to try your food
Okay, so it’s not exactly old school but if you have ever dated a woman, chances are you have run into the food issue. That is, her saying she isn’t hungry and then eating most of yours or, her actually wishing she had ordered what you have. Similar to going to the toilet in pairs or taking a long time to get ready, this is simply something that women do. If you really want to make her feel great, ask if she wants to try your food. Do it before you start eating if you’ve just met and then again during the course of a meal, once she’s become more comfortable with you.
Be alert to empty glasses
When at dinner, never let a woman refill her own wine or water glass. Just because the evening is going well and you’re in the midst of great laughs and conversation, it doesn’t mean your level of attentiveness should diminish. Treat her glass as your own, if she doesn’t want any more she will let you know and if you’re unsure just ask. This isn’t about turning you into a waiter, it’s about making it known that you’re interested in fulfilling her immediate needs.
Don’t let these old school moves completely disappear from the dating scene. Contact Berkeley International now and let us perform our old school moves to help you meet your Mr./Mrs. Right. Everything is possible.
This article was guest written by Tori Ufondu, Mindset Breakthrough Coach