The short answer to the question of whether a woman should ever take control of her love life is yes, of course she should. It’s incredibly important for women to have vision and clarity about the sorts of relationship they want and the future they aspire to create. It’s essential for anyone to have this, regardless of gender. There is however, a more complex side to this question and it arises when people make decisions in the moment, without considering their impact on the future.Whether you take the lead in love is very much a personal choice and one best based on your entire values structure, rather than what you think is appropriate short term. If proposing to your partner this leap year is something you’re seriously considering, make sure you cover the below check points first.
INTENTION: WHAT ARE YOUR REASONS FOR DOING IT?
If you’re proposing because the two of you have discussed marriage and are blissfully excited about its prospects, then go for it. As long as you don’t think he’s about to propose in the immediate future and there’s no chance of ruining a surprise he has cooking up, then taking the lead could be a wonderful experience. If, on the flipside, your situation is such that you’ve been dating for years and have got to the point where you’re tired and frustrated at waiting for him to do it – then caution is the advisable route. Impatience or frustration isn’t a great platform on which to build a married life. If there’s a chance you believe he would never have proposed, then this could do more damage than good. Before going ahead, have an open discussion about why it’s taken so long to get engaged and check whether marriage is really something your partner values and wants to do.
SECURITY: ARE YOU SECURE ABOUT HIS LOVE FOR YOU?
If you in any way equate a marriage proposal from him as an indication of his love for you, then think very carefully before taking charge of the situation. There are many women who fantasise from a young age about the romance of a proposal or the perfection of their wedding day and you have to be really confident about bucking tradition in these cases. For women who are one hundred per cent sure that their man loves them and that his proposal would only have been a matter of time, returning his love with a proposal of your own can be the height of romance.
SENSITIVITY: THE MAN YOU’RE MARRYING
If you’re considering marriage then it would be fair to say that you know the man involved pretty well, or his character at least. Are you with someone who would appreciate being proposed to or, are you with someone extremely traditional who might feel his job had been taken from him? There are still some relationships where the division of labour and gender roles remain very traditional and you proposing could sour the mix a little. It’s important to remember that the same way you may have fantasised about your wedding day and the joys of being engaged, your future husband may have also fantasised about proposing to the woman of his dreams in a particular way. Be sensitive to his needs too.With this new found knowledge, let
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