It’s inevitable that over time your romantic relationships will change. It happens with familial relationships, our friendships, even with our work colleagues. Change is a natural part of growing and developing as social beings. Getting into a relationship and hoping it will forever stay the same means you’ll miss all the benefits that change can bring.
On the flip-side, even when change may be construed as negative, it doesn’t always mean it’s game-over for your partnership. Being aware of some of the more common experiences could help you to avoid, or prepare for them.
When people first begin dating the majority of us will be on our best behaviour. Women won’t eat as much, their underwear will always match and men won’t eat as fast or leave the bathroom door open. Even when some of the revelations take a little getting used to, this is a healthy sign of comfort and trust.
As we get more comfortable in one another’s company and begin relaxing into each other’s flow, our guards will drop lower and slowly our true nature reveals itself. Partnerships built on who you both really are should be cherished.
We’re big advocates here at Berkeley International of establishing good communication habits from the very start of all new relationships. The trouble is usually, that the more you get to know each other, be it over months or years, the more you forget that your partner is not a mind reader. No matter how long you’ve been together or how in sync you believe yourselves to be, never take verbal or written communication for granted. It’s a trap to believe communication will work itself out, because it won’t and it’s still something you both need to work on.
At some point it’s likely you and your partner will have to jointly make a decision that will affect both your lives. It may be a decision about whether to have children, where to live or the timing of when to act on something you both want. Love is not like it’s portrayed in romantic films. In order to stand the test of time you’ll need to learn to accept that you’re both still individuals, with different desires, motivations and thought processes. Embrace compromise and don’t expect to always get everything you want.
As hot and heavy as you were in the first few weeks, be prepared for your sex life to settle down to more sustainable levels. Whilst the frequency may change, be mindful to make sure the intimate time you do have is still as experimental, fun and fulfilling as ever. Sex shouldn’t become boring, so remain open with your lover about your sexual wants and needs.
Taking things for granted
This can sometimes be the negative side of familiarity. When we get used to each other’s presence it’s easy to forget that we’re not entitled to certain perks and pleasures. Simply because your partner is being thoughtful, kind or nurturing, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re enjoying doing the ironing, cooking your dinner or entertaining your friends. Always say thank you, always appreciate the small things and always expect the same level of gratitude in return.
As a couple moving through life together, your joint responsibilities are certain to increase. With this may come some stressful moments, but it’s a part of life and learning to work together to achieve mutual goals will only strengthen your relationship. Where you can, take this slowly and only become as joint in your responsibilities as is comfortable at any given time. It’s often said that ‘nothing is forever,’ but children and a joint mortgage may get pretty close to it.
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