A sure fire way to meet the wrong person or scare off the right one, is to approach your dating life with an air of desperation. Wanting to be with a partner at any costs can mean that you come off as indiscriminate in your dating choices and, ironically, will make you seem less of a special catch yourself. If dating desperation is something you think you may suffer from, use the list below to identify the particular activities you’re guilty of and then make some changes.
Someone treats you badly, but you stay anyway
There are some people for whom not being in a relationship feels like the worst thing in the world. They dislike it to such an extent, that no matter how a partner behaves or how they are treated, they will stay. If you know that you’re putting up with things in your relationship that are unhealthy, make you feel bad about yourself or have an overall negative impact on your life, then it’s up to you to change them. Having the certainty of a relationship should never overshadow feeling loved and appreciated.
You continuously make concessions, even when you don’t want to
Do you find yourself making sacrifice after sacrifice for the sake of your relationships? Perhaps you’ve given up on a desire to have children, a desire to get married or even to fulfil the dreams and career of your choice, all because your partner doesn’t share your vision. Sometimes, people make short term decisions for love, ones that they end up regretting in the long term. Be careful what you give up and, if there’s any chance you’re going kick yourself in the future, reconsider the decision you’re making.
You’re envious of other people’s relationships
Being envious of other people’s happiness is always a sign that something is missing from your own life. People who are happy in their lives may wish they had relationships like they see members of their family or friends having, but it should never lead to resentment. To be date-ready you really need to be able to positively appreciate happiness and relationships in all its forms, even if it’s from afar watching others.
You don’t ask for commitment, even though you want it.
A classic sign of being desperate for love is being too afraid to ask for commitment because your partner may leave. As obvious a red flag as this is, there are lots of people who give up on monogamous relationships or their dream future because they don’t want to rock the boat. If you want commitment but don’t want to push too hard, you need to really consider whether you’re with the person who’ll enable you to live the life you ultimately want to live. It’s a tough question and the actions you take after answering honestly may be even tougher, but ultimately you deserve what it is you want out of life.
A miserable relationship is preferable to being alone and happy
If you seriously feel as though there is little worse than being single, then it’s really important you figure out why being alone is so traumatic for you. Dating is only masking a very real issue you have and may be adversely affecting your choice of who to date. Not wanting to be alone or feeling lonely in life can keep you with the wrong person and stuck in the same relationship for too long. When you learn to love being alone without feeling anxious or lonely, ending unsuitable relationships will get a lot easier.
At Berkeley International we understand that dating can be difficult with our offices located all over the world we can find you love anywhere. Call us on +44 (0) 207 665 6651 or fill out our secure online enquiry form.
This article was guest written by Tori Ufondu, Mindset Breakthrough Coach