In the early days of dating most of our manners are impeccable and there’s not one word or action we miss when assessing how potential partners treat us. As time goes on however, our levels of appreciation can slip to woeful levels, sometimes bordering on downright rude and ungrateful. Sure, your partner knows you like it when he cooks your favorite meal, and sure she gets that you’re preoccupied occasionally, but the words ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ don’t take very long to say.Our advice here is not to succumb to the easy pitfall of ingratitude, as it can be one of the most pervasive and damaging in a relationship. Instead, demonstrate the manners and respect you would want someone else to have for your partner.
Simply put, have your partner’s back. When we’re trying to get close to someone it’s not unheard of to become a little biased by siding with them, or sharing their opinions. If we really don’t feel the same, we at least attempt to see it from their perspective, or agree to disagree. However, as time goes on and we’re more comfortable with each other, these gentle disagreements can morph into ungracious opportunities to prove each other wrong and force-feed certain view points. You need to be mindful where you can, remembering that love is about being together, not being right.
Life can become extremely predictable when you’ve been together a few years and have routines that appear to offer little or no leeway for spontaneity. But try your best, we urge you. Surprises are an extremely quick and efficient way to jolt your relationship back into moments where things feel new and refreshed.For example, take a day off work and don’t tell your partner about it until you’ve made her breakfast and stuck two funfair tickets on her tray. Surprises do not have to be elaborate, just keep making an effort to think about them. The aim is to express how much you value time together and the relationship you’ve created thus far.
Sex in the beginning of relationships is all bells, whistles and adventure. It’s natural that you take the time to experiment physically until you find out what really turns each other on. The key is to not stop experimenting once you think you know.No one blames people for getting a little bit lazy or complacent as time goes on or taking the direct route, so to speak, when the buzz dies down a little. However, attempt to be better than this. Acknowledge slumps, talk about changes you could both make and take turns in implementing a bit of vitality and spice back into the bedroom.
Remember the times when you’d go to a football match because he liked it, or you would follow her around a shopping mall because she likes having an extra opinion? These are things that we all stop doing as relationships grow and they’re activities you may want to consider re-kindling. We can become very insular and begin to take refuge in our alone time in relationships, which is fine, but don’t totally shut one another out.Let go and once in a while just roll with what your partner enjoys doing. Focus on being a part of it and being wholly present for them. It will mean a lot.
We all see couples that have been together a few years kissing each other on the cheek, or not at all, when they’re coming and going from work or from having time apart. Kissing is deeply intimate and it can be why we avoid it until special moments or, we don’t do it at all. Don’t let this act of love slip. Sometimes that one second of re-connection is all a partner needs to be reminded that they are loved and cared for. Our relationship successes live in the details that we hold on to and value, through the rough, smooth, busy and quiet times.