Unfortunately in the dating world we can become so accustomed to meeting love interests that don’t work out, or partners who quickly disappoint us, that when someone truly wonderful shows up it’s a huge surprise. The moment this happens can be so surreal for some that they either don’t know what to do with it, or completely fail to recognise what a great opportunity lays before them. If you’re one of the lucky ones to have suddenly found yourself blindsided by a woman who is, quite possibly, the woman of your dreams, then here are the top things you need to know and do to ensure you honour this gift.
Forget about playing it cool, being laid back or ‘just seeing how things pan out’. This isn’t a movie or a game, this is real life and in real life you have to actively pursue the things you want and which matter to you. If there’s one thing women dislike, it’s men who aren’t clear, who keep them guessing and are ultimately unsure about what they want from a relationship. Your intentions should be laid on the table, leaving little room for confusion or doubt. It may leave you feeling more vulnerable than you’ve ever felt in your life, but this isn’t an everyday situation. If you can’t be open with the women of your dreams, you need to rethink your dreams.
Be honest about your compatibility
So she makes you laugh, she’s intelligent, beautiful and your friends and family love her too, but this shouldn’t stop you from ensuring that you’re both on the same page when it comes to a long term relationship. Having sat down and spoken with her and listened to what she’s said, can you hand-on-heart give her what she needs? And more importantly, do you want to?
Far too many men and women begin relationships promising to reconsider major deal breakers, such as the fact they don’t want children or are open to moving away from friends and family one day. Please, don’t allow yourself or someone else to invest time in a relationship that doesn’t fit with how you truly envision your future.
Tell other people
Whatever you do, don’t keep the possible love of your life a secret! If you think this woman is someone who could end up being a significant part of your life, slowly begin introducing her to friends and family, share you’re favourite restaurants with her, holiday in places that are telling of who you are as a person. In other words, reveal yourself, open up your world to her. What you’re aiming for is a situation where zero part of her thinks you’re unsure or unready to be in the relationship. Only you can ease any doubts she may have.
Get your affairs in order
You can take this as literally as you want, but when you meet your forever woman one of the first things you absolutely have to begin doing is clearing out the baggage from past relationships. And by this we mean all manner of things, so flings, hook-ups, ladies in waiting, side-chicks… however you may categorise your sexual and emotional history. Starting afresh with old girlfriends lurking in the wings is not the best way to build security or trust in mature relationships. Put some conviction behind your heart. Commit, let go and move forwards – without a back up plan.
Take off the rose tints
As much as you may be in love, remember that your lady is a human being with real needs and emotions. It can be difficult feeling as though you always have to live up to someone else’s idea of perfection, so go easy and don’t be surprised if sometimes she doesn’t wear makeup, decides not to shave her legs for a month in winter, or is more concerned with her career than making you dinner 5 nights a week. Talk to each other, be patient and clear about what’s important to you both and be prepared for that to change and grow as you do.