There is a tendency at this time of year for people to go a little wild with their motivation. Suddenly endeavours which have always appeared out of reach or unsustainable are within grasp. In our minds, they boil down to requiring little more than a boost of dedication, an injection of purpose – two things January happens to supply in large doses.
When it comes to relationships it’s easy to be more gung-ho than ever and thankfully this sort of energy is priceless in the dating world. Getting confident and getting out there is never going to hurt your search for love and in fact will only enhance it. Here at Berkeley however, we want you to consider a few extra things.
What parts of you do not need to change?
It’s likely you’re now full swing into a number of your New Year resolutions, whether that’s hitting the gym four times a week, or dating a more varied range of people. As part of your new go-get-em attitude, we want you to stop for a minute. We want you to acknowledge the parts of your dating self that were absolutely fine in 2017 and even further back.
Before you find new love this year, spend a few minutes remembering how funny you are, how stylish your wardrobe is, how chivalrous or elegant you are in company. Yes, we can all do work to improve on some aspect of our personality, of course we can. But what is it about you that no one can make you doubt? What is it that makes everything else just a wonderful bonus?
Who will you be in February, March and beyond?
As we mentioned above, January is the month of massive action for a lot of people. As your matchmaker, we would want to know how you aim to maintain this enthusiasm, what is your plan for keeping hold of this same motivated you throughout the rest of the year? How are you going to check-in with yourself? How will you remain certain that you’ll meet the man or woman who’s right for you and, that it’s simply a matter of time?
We suggest deciding now, whilst you’re feeling positive. So, book that hair appointment, schedule the date coach, plan the weekend away. New love will come, in the meantime, just do you.
How is your new love different, how is it better?
When you meet your match, how will you know that they’re going to give you a different experience to what you’ve encountered previously?
There is a really easy answer to this question – make the effort to look out for the experience you want to have. Too many of us spend time looking for the parts of a lover that we don’t want to see. We search to know if they’re as selfish as the ex, if they’re as uncommitted as so-and-so, or if they might hurt us like someone else did. Not often enough do we look for signs that they will love us unconditionally, that they will respect us.
The sad thing about this is that you will more easily find the things you’re looking for than those you aren’t. It’s for this reason you must spend time searching out the good in your new beau. And of course, present them with the best of who you are, the special parts that have always been there.
If the new year has given you the confidence to pursue love contact Berkeley International today by filling out our discrete enquiry form.