There are a few stages in the dating process that everyone has to go through and no two dates are ever the same.  The interesting thing is that on paper people can seem perfect, they can appear to be everything you’re looking for and yet when you meet there’s simply no chemistry.  It’s a disappointing conclusion for sure, especially if the lack is only felt by one person.

Whilst chemistry is something you can’t control, there are a number of things you can and knowledge of these can really get you off to a great start.   Certain qualities are valued by the majority of women and it’s not as complicated as you might think.

Be Yourself

This, for some, is one of the hardest challenges there is.  There is the common belief people have that they’re not perfect enough as themselves or that it’s too early to be so open with a date.  Being yourself is not about throwing all your bad habits down onto the table and revealing your deepest darkest secrets.  It has more to do with you not trying to portray yourself as anything or anyone other than who you are.  If your date is unhappy with your personality when you’re being yourself, then it’s unlikely it would have worked out anyway.

Clarity

Women need you to be clear about your reasons for dating.  You don’t have to create a dating manifesto or even say more than you want to on the subject, but it is necessary to ensure your date has as little confusion about it as possible.  People in general like to know if they’re using their time wisely or wasting it, so start first by making sure you yourself have a good idea about what you’re looking for.  Are you just after a good time, are you open to marriage or children down the road?  Be courteous enough to have at least thought about it, before inviting someone to share your life with you.

Laughter

Humour is wonderful at any stage of a relationship and fun times should always outweigh the serious.  It’s not a cliché to say that women love a man who can make them laugh, it’s a truth.  Of course, there is a fine line between being the man who makes her smile and the clown who she can’t take seriously.  Overdo it and you may find yourself in the friend zone.  Be sure to demonstrate your serious side as well, the side that knows whether or not she is someone you want to get to know.  Try not to use humour as a defence mechanism against rejection either, be clear with her if you like her.  Oh, and don’t forget to laugh at her jokes, women can be funny too.

Attentiveness

Always make it clear that her needs are firmly on your radar.  We all like to feel appreciated and valued and it goes beyond simply opening the door for her when you first walk into a restaurant.  Keep up the levels of attentiveness, so she has no doubt whatsoever that she’s the woman in the room you’re most interested in. Your gestures can range from refilling her glass and asking if there’s anything else she needs, to complimenting her.  This is about making it obvious that you’re always aware of her, even if you appear to be looking the other way.

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This article was guest written by Tori Ufondu, Mindset Breakthrough Coach

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