MEN: HOW TO PICK THE RIGHT PARTNER
Men are given a raw deal in society sometimes. They can be depicted as superficial when choosing the right partner and are often accused of favouring looks or age over compatibility and substance. Apart from the fact that beautiful or not very bright women deserve just as much love as anyone else, who are we to judge a relationship if two people are happy and going strong? Here at Berkeley International, we promote all types of love and we aim to help any man who’s unsure of exactly what to consider when choosing the right partner.
Intelligence is about what you know and how you apply it. We’re all knowledgeable about different things in different ways, even if not everyone values what we have to offer. What’s most important in a relationship is to be with someone you can have a genuine and level conversation with, whatever that looks like for the pair of you. If the woman you’re dating is more intelligent or educated than yourself, it’s crucial to embrace it and not feel threatened or intimidated. Likewise, if you’re dating someone with less education, think about what else you’re both bringing to the partnership and whether it’s one of mutual respect, with goals that are aligned.
CLARITY ON NEEDS AND MOTIVES
A lot of women, unfortunately, have learned to not be as open about their relationship needs and desires as they could be. This is partly to do with a fear of judgement, or embarrassment at possibly appearing too needy. When choosing a partner or when falling for someone, it’s a really great idea to get very clear on what each of you is ideally looking for long term. If she doesn’t do this, then invite the conversation yourself and see it as an essential part of assessing your compatibility. Do you want marriage or children in your future, do you want to give up work and travel for a year, or to move to another country in 2 years time? Whilst these big questions can be daunting for everyone, it won’t do you any harm to have an idea of what you’re getting into.
So we use this term lightly, simply because a person’s preconceived notions about love can quickly fly out the window when the right person comes along. Your must-haves are the things that you don’t want your relationship to be without. It can be hysterical laughter, all night movie marathons, extreme couple’s sports or whatever makes you personally feel alive when you’re with a loved one. Try not to be blinded by poor must-have substitutes when you’re dating, or to be swayed by things that seem enough in the short term which are likely to leave you unfulfilled later. Picking the right partner is as much about knowing yourself and what you want, as it is about understanding what drives and motivates the person you’re with.
DON’T PLAY SAFE
By this, we mean don’t restrict yourself to picking the type of partner that you have always picked. Patterns are great when they work and are fulfilling, but you need to remember that there is a whole world of exciting possibilities out there. Try dating someone who is older than you, more or less sporty than you, likes different food than you’re used it. It may work or it may not, but the very least you’ll achieve is some new experiences and perhaps even greater clarity about the traits you really do value.