It’s understandable that being single isn’t something people always aspire to.  Life is for sharing and when we have no one to accompany us on our path it can feel lonely and disheartening.  There is however, also a flipside to this that we’ve all experienced at least once, and that’s the sheer freedom that single life provides us.  Yes, there are the challenges of who to take as your plus one, or what to do on Valentine’s day, but single life by no means has to be miserable. When you do it right, you can have all the fun in the world.

Use your freedom

When you’re in a relationship, you have to make joint decisions and discuss anything from what to have for dinner, to how to spend and entire day together.  Compromise is essential for the health and fairness of partnerships, but when you’re alone it’s quite another matter.  This is a time to be really appreciative of all the things you might normally need to get a second viewpoint on.  Take the opportunity to see films you’re interested in, read more books, enjoy socialising as a free spirit, don’t be one of those people who ‘can’t see the point in cooking for one’.  The single you is just as important as the you within a couple, having time for yourself is a precious gift not to be wasted.

Get stronger

If you have any personal fears, such as dining alone, going to social occasions by yourself or travelling as a single person, then use your single life to help you conquer them.  Being single shouldn’t preclude you from any activities that couples take part in and it really does come down to a state of mind.  As long as you’re safe and out to have fun, there’s no reason to not push boundaries.  Once you’re able to do and appreciate certain events and situations on your own, doing them with someone else will become a wonderful bonus, rather than a necessity.

Date far and wide

Take your time with dating and actually enjoy it.  Try not to attach rigorous agendas to your dating life and don’t make every meeting with a potential partner an all or nothing affair.  You may have concerns about your age or keeping up with the relationship advances of your social circle, but don’t let it make you desperate.  Things can move extremely fast within the right, healthy relationship, so don’t rush the initial stages or act irrationally because you fear you don’t have enough time.

Spend more time with friends

When we meet a new partner, we can fall into a kind of mutual hibernation with them.  We want to spend as much time alone together as life allows and, this can cause us to neglect the other people and things that matter to us.  Being single is a really great time to reconnect and secure bonds between you and what’s always important in your life.  Be sure to not expect friends and family to rearrange their own lives just because you’re currently single, but do let it be known that you’re available and happy to meet up when it’s convenient for everyone.   It’s also very important to not slide backwards too much when you find yourself in a new relationship again. Value your constant companions enough to show them that they still matter, regardless of who else comes in and out of your life.

Stay active

Friday and Saturday nights aren’t purely the domain of couples, so even when you’re single try to have a plan.  Treat yourself to a date night once a week; it could be a new hobby you start, a set day where you cook yourself a special meal or go to the movies.  Life doesn’t stop if you’re alone and staying active can make you more appealing to new partners, especially if they lead busy lives as well.  It will also help you to stick to the routine of a couple’s date night when you do find someone.

Berkeley International is an internationally recognised introduction agency and elite matchmaking service, to find out more enquire here or call us on +44 (0) 207 665 6651.

This article was guest written by Tori Ufondu, Mindset Breakthrough Coach

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