When we’re single it’s very easy to not do a lot of things because we don’t yet have a partner. It’s as though suddenly, a whole portion of the world gets shut down to us, we can’t go out to dinner or parties alone, we can’t go to the movies, and solo holidays are just plain strange. Well, to dispel some of the negativity and all this easy excuse making, we want you to take action and create what we’re calling a Love List.
Your Love List involves you reversing all the cant’s into wills and, by answering a few key questions, getting clear on the type of love and dating you want to experience. You may even realise that you can put some of these plans into action right now, on your own or with friends.
What would be your ideal day?
When you’re matched with someone, and things are going really well, what will you say if you’re asked this question? Rather than spend time thinking about what you can’t do, we suggest getting really familiar with what you would like to do when you find someone.
Take a few minutes to visualise a perfect day for yourself, from morning until evening. It will give you something to aim for when the time is right.
What places or countries do you want to visit with your partner?
Most people have at least one place that is either very special or significant to them, a destination that they specifically want to experience with a partner. What’s yours? What time of year would you like to go? What sights do you want to spend time exploring?
What hobbies do you want to share?
It’s really healthy when two people in a relationship can spend joint time together, enjoying an activity or being challenged in a positive way. It means exercising your communication muscle, the one needed when negotiating with one another, competing, praising, being patient or learning how to compromise. Cultivating these skills with each other on a tennis court, a cooking or dance class, will set you up for when they’re needed at home.
In what way would you like to be challenged?
For those of you who aren’t natural daredevils, or who sometimes need a helping hand, how could your partner take on this role for you? What challenges are you putting off?
Perhaps it’s diving off a yacht into the ocean, or publicly exhibiting something that you’ve painted or written. There’s no shame in needing a little encouragement and support in certain situations, so think about how you would love a partner to do this for you.
What have you never told anyone?
This is quite a big one and we suggest making sure that your relationship has reached certain depths before doing it. There’s no harm however, in being prepared.
Is there information, a dream, hope or ambition in your life, big or small, that you would love to share with a partner? Sometimes revelations like this can be a big sign that you’ve found and connected with someone special.
Are you ready to compromise?
Whilst you’re single it may feel like a sad or lonely experience, but there’s a lot to be said for doing whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it.
Are you ready to delay watching your favourite show until he’s out, or forgoing your much-loved steakhouse because she’s vegetarian? Not all compromises in relationships are huge, sometimes it’s the collection of little ones that can take some adjusting to. Appreciate your freedom whilst you have it, start to think about the things you’re happy to be flexible about, and the ones that may take a little more convincing.
The world of relationships can be a difficult one for many. But Berkeley International is here to help you make sense of it all. Our professional matchmakers will help you find your ideal partner. Visit our how we work page to find out more about how Berkeley can help you. Or fill in out enquiry form to talk to one of our expert matchmakers.