You may be familiar with hearing phrases such as, ‘I just want a real man’ or ‘I just want someone decent’ when women are asked what they want from a partner. At Berkeley International we know how unhelpful this sort of vague and generic description can be, so in this blog we’re going to break it down a little. Most women, when you drill down a little deeper, do have a clear idea of their perfect match and here are the biggest similarities.
One of the qualities that women look for in men is security. Now, when most people think about this word they immediately assume it refers to financial security. Not true. Whilst this is a consideration and an extremely important one to some, what’s usually valued more is emotional and physical security.
Emotional security means that you hear and listen when she is speaking. It means that you make her feelings a priority in your life and do your best to express how much you value, love and respect her point of view, and her experience of the world you share.
When it comes to physical security, it really doesn’t revolve purely around how you look. It’s not necessary to be built like a body builder, or be 6ft3. Sometimes, physical security is about taking protective measures and exhibiting chivalry. This can be something small like pumping her petrol, carrying heavy items for her, walking roadside like an old school gent. It may all sound pretty archaic, but as independent and self-reliant as modern women are, it doesn’t mean they don’t respond well to being cared for, put first and appreciated.
When women use the phrase real man, the quality of honesty is definitely at the forefront of their minds. A man who is honest and – this is important – able to express that honesty, is the dream. This rare find is able to talk about how he feels, how he is affected by events in the relationship and the wider world.
Oftentimes men are afraid to be truly honest with a partner because they’re fearful of the reaction they’ll receive. If this sounds like you, then be aware that if you’re dating someone who is judgemental, difficult to speak with or overly sensitive/insensitive to your needs, you should assess why you’re putting up with it and if it’s the sort of future you aspire to have.
Whilst security is about a woman knowing you’re there for her emotionally and physically, stability is about knowing you have your head screwed on straight. This means you have a job that you’ve worked at longer than a week, can look after your own financial needs and know how to control your world effectively, without relying too much on others.
Women, no matter how nurturing, caring, or loving, don’t want to feel as though they’re dating a child. Knowing how to do your own laundry, manage your mental wellbeing and emotional health, is very attractive.
Everyone appreciates people who are able and willing to use their initiative, whether that’s friends, colleagues or partners. Women like dating guys who have an idea what they want to do for a date, where they want to go. They like a man who sends flowers or caring messages when they’re ill, empties the bin without being asked, initiates significant relationship conversations.
So take note guys, the most beloved attribute of being a real man will always defer back to what it means to be a gentleman; this never goes out of fashion. Women adore men who stick by their word, who allow them to safely relinquish control every now and then and who are confident in the role they play in their lady’s life. Many things have changed in dating over the years, this has not.
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