The rain is becoming slightly more frequent and you’re reaching for your autumn wardrobe more and more, it’s also now painfully obvious that the summer romance you had hoped for isn’t going to happen. So, the questions you’re likely asking are what do I do? and how do I reconcile another season of being alone?
The one thing you most definitely don’t want to do is fall into an emotional slump. For this reason, we’ve created a few pointers to help keep you focusing forwards. Whether you do one of them or all five, getting your mind into a positive and healthy space is the aim, so give it your best shot.
Be disheartened, but then let it go
We’re not here to tell you to get over it, or to not be upset. We totally understand that being alone can be difficult and in fact we encourage you to allow yourself to be openly upset about it. It’s a necessary part of life to acknowledge the discouragement and disappointment that you feel and to sit with it awhile. Ignoring emotions like this only stores them up for bigger meltdowns later and that’s something you don’t want.
The only caveat here is that if you’re going to wallow then set a deadline, yes, a deadline. Whether it’s a day or two weeks, you need to give it a full stop and then move on with your life.
During summer there are times that we meet so many people that it’s honestly hard to keep track and connect with all of them. We are so busy running all over the place, having fun or mixing with people that we already know well, that we simply don’t follow-through or think new folks are significant enough to make an effort for. If there’s a woman’s number in your phone that you haven’t called yet, or a text from him you haven’t yet returned, then do it now. Sometimes new horizons are much closer to home than we realise.
There always seems to be this last minute dash at the end of summer to do all the activities you want or need to do ‘whilst the weather is still good’. That opportunities are suddenly about to dry up is a complete fallacy and we want you to try and not think like this. Instead of viewing this stage of your life as the ending of summer, we’re telling you to embrace autumn as a new beginning. Buy an umbrella, stick a light jacket in your bag or car and be on your way, just as you always have been. Plan what galleries you’ll be attending, what holidays you’ll be taking and what new experiences you want to have. The season of your life is continuous.
Keep adding to your social circle
Yes you may be more reluctant to leave the house and it may take a little more persuasion than usual, but that’s no reason to stop widening your circle of friends. In summer we’re more open, we spread our wings a little wider to fully appreciate the season and all its glory. Don’t let the end of it slow you down. This autumn, keep your mind open. Be the first to say yes to new, different and exciting friends to kick off winter with.
Check-in with yourself
Definitely don’t assume that you’re the same person now as you were at the start of summer. This is a big no-no. Life has happened and there may be parts of you that have reacted to that, without you even realising. Perhaps you met someone who you thought would be perfect but wasn’t. Perhaps there were experiences you had that coloured your previous view on relationships and actually helped you to reassess your needs. Sit down with yourself and consciously check-in with what’s changed and developed. Keep your perspective of who you are, and what you want, up to date.
If you feel like you’re in need of a helping hand on the dating scene this coming winter season, please do not hesitate to get in contact or request a callback with a member of our team who will be more than happy to discuss any questions you may have.