The approach of summer is a part of the year that most people await with anticipation. Past summers are remembered for their excitement, those memories bringing the promise of fun and opportunity not found in other seasons. Life, quite literally, looks brighter and not only does our physical world change, so too can our outlook on life and our approach to love and relationships. We need less motivation to get out there and socialise, we’re happy to let go or experiment and this is the reason summer relationships are kept in a romantic category all of their own. But what if we don’t want the fun to end or fall victim to seasonal changes? How can we keep our new flames burning throughout the winter months?
Spend time alone, really alone
Being outside is part of enjoying summer, whether it’s sipping cocktails on roof top bars, lounging by club pools or picnics in parks. Mixing with people, catching up and absorbing the general atmosphere of happiness and freedom is undoubtedly intoxicating, but don’t mistake people watching for paying attention to your partner. It’s crucial, if longevity is something you’re interested in, that you spend time learning whether you’re compatible with your beau – just the two of you, four walls and no distractions. If the both of you can’t light up a room on your own, it’s going to make for a very dull winter.
Make sure your health & fitness isn’t seasonal
The closer summer gets, the sharper the realisation that we’ve piled on the pounds and that our smaller, tighter clothes won’t be as forgiving as our loose shirts and oversized jumpers. If you’re one of these people that morphs into a gym bunny during the lead up to summer, remember that anyone you meet may reasonably expect you to stay in shape once the heat cools down. Make sure a trim and toned you isn’t a seasonal offering, try to keep it going all year-round.
Share some sober time
Paying attention to how much you’re drinking and when you’re drinking should be a priority with a new relationship, as getting carried away on Pimms and lemonade is easy to do at this time of year. Going to the races, the tennis, the cricket and a whole host of other summer activities gives us license to drink more during the day than we usually might. Make sure you don’t spend these early days of your relationship wearing beer goggles and champagne filters. Ignoring or overlooking qualities that you would find unattractive or annoying when sober is a bad move. At some point the party will end and you need to be happy with who you’re left with.
Allow for personality differences
It’s worthwhile remembering that we as humans are inextricably connected with nature and its rhythms and cycles. Some people more than others are very in tune with the seasons and it can have a subtle or quite significant impact on their personality or the life they lead. Allow some leeway in summer relationships for moods, emotional cycles and personalities to settle during the winter months. Differences in how a person behaves don’t necessarily mean life is suddenly going to be less fun, just simply that a different sort of fun is on the horizon. What motivates your partner may change or develop and if you’re able to appreciate that, you may find yourself moving on to deeper levels within the relationship.
This article was guest written by Tori Ufondu, Mindset Breakthrough Coach